What I Did Today...

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What am I thinking? ... about how I miss you every second of the day that I have time to think about anything...

How am I? ... Well, how would you be if the best part of your life, one of your reasons for living, were suddenly and irrevocably removed from your life? From all the plans you'd made together for your future? From all the projects that you'd meant to do to your home - the home you'd struggled and scrimped and saved to finally call our own?

What did I do this weekend? Oh... I sat in our house alone and thought about the fact that we were going to have a belated anniversary party to celebrate 30 years of marriage, cause we hadn't quite decided we wanted a party ON our actual anniversary until it was too late... So we were going to have our anniversary party on the anniversary of our first date... 39 years!!! ... but you weren't here, so we didn't and I sat here on the couch by myself missing you.

What did I do today? The same thing I've done every single day since you've been gone... I've missed you with every fiber of my being and I've prayed that someday we will see each other again and I can hold you and kiss you and love you with every ounce of who I am... that's what I did today...what I do everyday...  I miss you....

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