Defeat
Little defeats in life are normal. I get annoyed, but mostly I take them in stride after an initial period of bitching because things didn't go as planned. Now, not so much...
Saturday I spent over two hours preparing for an outing on Sunday where I would see a lot of people I haven't seen in over 2 months and 15 days. I simplified to make it easier along the way. Sunday I got up as planned, showered and dressed, and spent an hour talking myself into actually being a big girl and walking out the door. My various conversations during that hour all kinda came down to one question: "What Would Fernando Say"?
So I crated da boyz, grabbed my stuff and headed out the door. I drove an hour to get where I was going. It probably would have been shorter if I'd known exactly where I was going, but I didn't. I finally arrive and BAM. Nothing. Outing cancelled. No admittance. And I'm devastated...
Little things, like making plans to be around other people are monumental tasks these days. They take a lot of effort. And now I had to drive over 45 minutes just to get back home and fall apart. I'd gone through all this stress and planning and preparation physically, mentally and emotionally. And it was all for nothing.
I'm tired of phantom plans and broken promises.
Recreating yourself and rebuilding a life for yourself... how does one do this?
Saturday I spent over two hours preparing for an outing on Sunday where I would see a lot of people I haven't seen in over 2 months and 15 days. I simplified to make it easier along the way. Sunday I got up as planned, showered and dressed, and spent an hour talking myself into actually being a big girl and walking out the door. My various conversations during that hour all kinda came down to one question: "What Would Fernando Say"?
So I crated da boyz, grabbed my stuff and headed out the door. I drove an hour to get where I was going. It probably would have been shorter if I'd known exactly where I was going, but I didn't. I finally arrive and BAM. Nothing. Outing cancelled. No admittance. And I'm devastated...
Little things, like making plans to be around other people are monumental tasks these days. They take a lot of effort. And now I had to drive over 45 minutes just to get back home and fall apart. I'd gone through all this stress and planning and preparation physically, mentally and emotionally. And it was all for nothing.
I'm tired of phantom plans and broken promises.
Recreating yourself and rebuilding a life for yourself... how does one do this?
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